Hair Struggles: Haircut Edition

Since my recent post about how healthy my hair has become I wanted to share some of the struggles I went through. Mainly about some bad haircuts I’ve had and what I learned from those horrible experiences. So gather around for a little story time. 

About 10 years ago was when I experienced my first true bad haircut. And by that I mean a haircut I went out and got by a professional and not my mom cutting my bangs herself (unfortunately a true story). So I had decided that my hair had gotten too long and I wanted to cut a few inches off. When my hair was straightened (because it was pretty curly at the time) I would say it was close to waist length but I wanted it cut to just under my boobs. I made an appointment with my hair stylist who at that time I had been seeing for years and completely trusted (this is a very necessary detail to the rest of the story). When I arrived I learned she wasn’t there that day and someone else was filling in for her instead. So before I forget I should mention a little fact about me is that I’m very shy and not assertive and I’ve been pushed into doing or not doing things because I have a hard time speaking up for myself. So when the lady replacing my normal stylist informed my she could do my hair instead, I felt guilty saying “no thanks I’ll wait until my regular hair stylist is there”. I had, and still do have, a hard time speaking up for myself because I’m always afraid of potentially hurting someone else’s feelings. One of the reasons I felt I was going to hurt her feelings was because this other stylist sounded excited and almost expecting my to say yes. I had a hard time saying no because of how the question was framed to me and hearing the expectations that went with it. But even though I think I still would have a hard time even today, I know that it’s ok to say no. It was something my regular stylist emphasized after everything that happened. That and that I wasn’t hurting anybody’s feelings by saying no. It was a lesson I learned the hard way and I mean that because that day I got a pretty f-ed up haircut. 

When I went in that day I wanted 8 inches at max taken off. But what I got was more like 10-12 inches cut off after all was said and done. One of the reasons I think more length was cut off is the fact that I have curly hair. And for some reason hair stylists forget that curly hair shrinks when it dry, so you have to cut less for it to be at the desired length. I should have known this would be a problem when the stylist was trying to convince me it was still long but when it dried that wasn’t the case. That wasn’t the only issue and I can’t say all the things that were wrong because I’m not even sure. All I know is that I had to go back in and have my hair stylist fix everything which meant more length was taken off. And as she was cutting my hair to fix it she kept shaking her head questioning what the other stylist did. So that lesson came at a pretty steep price. 

Unfortunately that wasn’t the worst haircut I’ve ever gotten. That one happened 2014. I honestly don’t know where to start with that one because it happened so fast I didn’t know what to do. I still feel a little traumatized from that experience. And I know I’m being very dramatic but ever since then I have been very leery and scared to get my hair cut because I never want to go through that again. So the main problem with this haircut came down to the stylist again. I had been going to this hair stylist for a few years and at first I really liked her. Where I was living the first few hair places I went to didn’t have anyone who understood how to cut curly hair. So when I found this hair stylist who seemed to know what she was doing I became a loyal customer until that bit me in the ass. 

I guess for me it was shocking and a little heartbreaking that someone who I not only liked but trusted gave me my worst haircut. Looking back now I see that there were signs that this person shouldn’t be cutting my hair. For one when I liked certain styles or looks and wanted her to that on my hair she seemed to have her own opinions and therefore wouldn’t do it. And I’m not talking anything crazy. At the time the ombré look was really taking off and I loved the style. But she basically flat out refused because she didn’t like how it looked. And when I tried to get her to do it even a little bit she really messed up my hair and by messed up I mean I had streaks of orangey blond hair. Thankfully it got toned and came out looking similar to what I had originally wanted. Another issue that always came up was the length of my hair. I have long hair and have had it since I had to grow it out from my first bad haircut. But I was told so many times by her that I needed to cut it for so many reasons. Usually she said that it was unhealthy, it looked dry and damaged, and even went as far as to tell me my hair was weighing down my head and causing my migraines (a lot of things trigger my migraines but the weight of my hair isn’t one of them). It really came to down to the fact that she had and liked short hair and she thought everyone should have it. As I’m saying all this you might be wondering why I still continued to go to this stylist? Trust me, it’s a question I’ve asked my self several times because there were plenty of signs I now see looking back and just dismissed. But that’s the thing, now with hindsight I see all the warning signs. But the one sign I shouldn’t have dismissed was her harsh opinion on layers. I always ask for layers whenever my hair is cut. I like having layers because it makes my hair look less weighed down and frizzy. And ever since I first had layers put into my hair I’ve always just liked the look. Well this hair stylist didn’t like layers and again she flat refused several times. She came up with excuses but I now can see she just didn’t want to do it. But it was those layers that caused the haircut from hell (again I know I’m being dramatic but I can’t help it). 

So I had an appointment to not only color my hair but also trim it up. She took a few inches off but it was an amount I was comfortable with. As my stylist was finishing up my hair cut and she was about to let me go, I mistakenly asked for her to add some layers or at least trim up the ones I already had. Seriously worst hair mistake ever. And this is coming from someone who bleached their own hair at home, so this time I’m not being dramatic. So what does she do? She literately held up my hair in several big sections and just hacked at it. In a matter of seconds she chopped 10-12 inches off and created the most uneven chunks of layers. My mom compared it to how they used to do shag haircuts in the 70s. It took me several minutes to digest what happened (which was longer than it took her cut it). And to say I was pissed would be an understatement. I honestly didn’t know how to comprehend what happened and still til this day I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. Understandably that was the last time I saw that person ever again. 

Afterwards I had to keep going to different stylist to see if they could fix the mess that was now my hair. Every stylist afterward kept looking at my hair with the most confused looks on their faces as the pulled different sections wondering how this happened. I honestly believe I could’ve cut my hair better myself. At least then I wouldn’t have people stumped as to how it ended up this bad. 

Eventually all the chunks did grow out but it was painful because my hair looked truly f-ed up for at least a year. But now I understandably have trust issues when it comes to people cutting my hair. I think it’s one of the reasons I don’t cut my hair as much as I probably need to. But through both these bad haircuts I learned some valuable lessons. 

1. It’s ok to say no and by saying no you won’t be hurting anyone’s feelings. 

2. Don’t let someone you don’t know cut your hair if you have someone else you trust. 

3. If someone won’t do something you ask (if it’s not unreasonable) because they don’t like it, then it’s time to find someone new. Especially when you are paying them for a service. 

4. Don’t ignore signs that someone shows you because the only person who gets hurt is usually you. 

5. Hair does regrow but growing out a horrible haircut sucks. 

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